After All This Time

Lately, I have found myself drawn to return here. There have been moments over the past 7 years where I wanted to write something but couldn’t quite find all the words, or I mentally composed what I wanted to say but when it came to making the words appear on the page, it wouldn’t translate. Each of those times I almost came back were marked by a time of sadness, most notably when my grandad passed away - oh all the words I almost wrote to you about that! I think there is a need in me for something comforting and familiar, and this blog is a time capsule from a period in my life where many of my happiest memories lie and where it felt like a time of youthful beginnings with future plans stretched out ahead of me and my family.

So much has changed since those years, some good, some bad, some just a neutral ‘different’. I completed my degree earning a 2.1 in English Literature, I walked that stage and collected my certificate with my family watching and it felt good, I returned to work as a school secretary (slightly earlier than originally planned), my Smaller Person started school, and then my Grandad passed away; he never saw the new bigger house we moved to and the beautiful garden that we could have used his expertise to learn how to care for; the Small Person started secondary school, she had a terrible first year with broken friendships and her confidence took a real hard knock; my Nan passed away almost two years to the day of my Grandad; she was never the same without him; our home life became more hectic as the Small People grew and filled their time with homework, school and extracurricular clubs so I left work again, we grew, we became more financially secure, we succeeded, we laughed, and then my mother in law unexpectedly had a massive stroke and eventually passed away after fighting hard for over 10 weeks in hospital. Full stop. This feels like a good place for a full stop, because that’s what it felt like: a full stop on the type of life we led before. Her death left us at the top of that branch of the family tree, no other relative higher up on the chain of hierarchy to take charge, make arrangements, deal with paperwork, and it left us responsible for making sure Mr Bogert’s disabled sister is looked after. Six months after her death we were slowly adjusting to our new role, still learning, still processing, still trying to find the best way through, and then the Small Person began suffering with intense back pain and in a whirlwind two weeks she was diagnosed with Leukaemia. It felt like such a cruel blow.

I’m not sure how much of that younger me remains, certainly a good portion; I believe we all remain essentially the same at our hearts. But I am also very aware I’m not wholly the same. We all grow with time, we are the experiences we’ve lived and the lessons we’ve learned and we’re shaped by the memories we’ve made, good and bad. I think as you grow older you collect sadness along the way, it’s impossible to avoid, and you carry the sadness with you, not in a way that overwhelms you (at least hopefully not) but in a way that you learn to live with and that colours your being from that time onward. 37 year old me is more careful with her words, she is simultaneously more patient and compassionate to those around her and yet less patient and tolerant when it comes to disorganisation or insincerity. She knows more about who she is, doesn't necessary like every part of her character, but accepts herself and those flaws. I can think of describing it in no other way than she is simply older, perhaps, finally a proper grown up? I think maybe the fire, imagination and enthusiasm that 30 year old me possessed is more dilute; there is less time and energy to nurture those traits.

I need to be absolutely clear, my life is not all doom and gloom; we are going through a particularly trying time, but there is still a huge amount of good in it and plenty of laughter. (You don’t need to call anyone!) I am not walking around in a continually depressed state, but I am acknowledging that a lot has happened to us these past 7 years and there is likely a lot more to come, but in that time we’ve discovered we’re strong, that our children are amazing, and somehow that sometimes makes you feel invincible. Sometimes. We’ve also seen more kindness across those years, particularly in the last 12 months, than we had seen in any of our easier lifetimes, and that feels good. Those days when we’re not feeling invincible there’s always somebody else there to hold us up. It inspires more kindness in me.

One thing that has always been a constant is my crafting, much like this familiar space, when I have felt the need for something comforting I have crafted. It’s like my me-time medicine. It distracted me when I couldn’t get my Grandad out of my head, it helped me feel closer to my Nan when she died as she was the one who taught me many of my skills, it helped give me control when my mother in law passed and I made sure to create beautiful orders of service for the funeral that matched the colourful person she was, and it’s helped me pass countless hours in hospital sitting by my biggest baby’s bedside watching her become more ill, then well, then ill again. I’d like to record it all again, my creations and the ups and downs of the Wishes house. I hope I can keep finding the words.

30th Birthday Photoshoot

While we're on the subject of photography and catching up with all things wonderful from 2012, I forgot that I hadn't show you any of the images from our Turning 30 Photoshoot.

A lot of my wonderful friends that I have now as a grown up (ahem!) were actually wonderful friends of mine when I was smaller and at school. So we all hit our big 30 milestone this last year. To celebrate the event, a few of us got together in August for a photoshoot with Mr Bogert. You know, before we start sprouting any more grey hair or wrinkles! ;)

So we hired our village hall, brought drinks along, ate pizza and mini cakes, and Potato Salad Heather brought a huge 30th Birthday cake for us all to share. It was lovely and relaxed, and we all popped on and of 'set' for our pictures in between eating and chatting.

One of our friends had his restored bike with him, so it was brought in for a few of the shots. You can also see my blog profile pic is a product of the photoshoot -----------------------------------------------------^

You can see a few more of the images over on Robert Newman Photography blog.

Me and Mrs Jones

I mentioned a while back that our very good friends were getting married. The wedding took place this last November. The Small People had been asked to be a little bridesmaid and a page boy, Mr Bogert had been asked to be Best Man, and I was asked to be a bridesmaid. The marriage took place at Stoneleigh Church and the wedding reception was held at Coventry Golf Club.

We had an absolutely lovely day! Everything looked wonderful, the children were actually quite well behaved (although we did bribe them with Haribo in church!) and Mr Bogert and I managed to pull off the impossible by being part of the bridal party, keeping a check on the Small People AND taking the wedding photographs for them. It was a bit of juggling act, but, we did it!

Anyway, the lovely Mr & Mrs Jones have honeymooned and have now received their wedding album. In fact Mrs Jones came over for a drink and a chat to look through the album one evening last week, so I thought I'd just do a little follow up blog post.

You can read more about it and see more of the images over on Robert Newman Photography blog.

Toddler Group Tuesday - Melted Snowmen

We actually had to cancel Toddler Group this week because of the snow. The ground was pretty icy especially on the small side roads through the village, and we didn't want to encourage any accidents. A few of our older volunteers felt a lot happier not having to drive to the hall, and in this sort of weather we are often very quiet anyway because people are not that happy to venture out in the yucky conditions, and with quite a few schools closed, some would have older children at home too.

But, I can show you what we got up to last week at the craft table (having been entirely rubbish and not done my job properly and shown you last week!). We made melted snowman pictures.

To make your own you will need:

- A sheet of coloured paper
- Some white paper
- Glue
- Scissors
- Cotton wool
- A pipe cleaner
- Black card
- Silver glitter
- Orange and red paper or card
- Snowflake confetti

First of all cut a random wiggly blob shape out of the white paper and glue onto you sheet of coloured paper. This is your snowman's melted body.
Glue a ball of cotton wool anywhere you like onto the white paper shape. This is your snowman's head.
Cut a black circle big enough to cover the top of your snowman's head, and a small rectangle of black card that can be rolled to form the top of the hat. Glue the rolled black card to the black circle and allow to dry (we had these ready prepared for our toddlers)
Glue the hat to the top of your snowman's head.

Wrap the pipe cleaner around the snowman's neck and twist at the front to form the scarf.
Cut some small circles from the black card and glue in place as eyes and buttons.
Cut an orange triangle and a red crescent shape from the paper/card and glue in place for a carrot nose and a mouth.
Add glue and glitter where you see fit, and decorate the rest of the coloured paper base sheet with confetti snowflakes.

All finished!

And here's the Smaller Person's finished snowman (stuck on the fridge!)

You can see, his snowman has melted so much, his face has slipped down onto his body!

You could also gather some small twigs from outside and glue to the melted body for arms. Your snowmen could take any form you like, so perhaps it is a snow-woman? You could make a family of melted snowmen.  You could even take ti further and create a little 3D scene next to an iced over pond made with tinfoil or metallic card cur to shape. Melted snowman can also turn up on the top of your cakes and biscuits: use icing as the melted body, a white marshmallow for the head, liquorice laces for the scarf and mouth, biscuits or wafers with sweets to form the hat, and other sweets or icing for the features and buttons. Yummy! Again, the larger scene or family of snowmen could be made on a larger cake.

Wonderful Snow!

I know not everyone will agree with me, but I absolutely love the snow! I love the potential for fun, the prettiness of a sparkling blanket of white, and the satisfying feeling of snuggling up in a warm house with a hot drink staring out at the soft white flurries outside.

It's often considered a bit of a joke how well us English cope with snow in contrast to other countries like Canada, but really, we're not set up for it. It's a once in a blue moon occurrence. Our sloping, winding country lanes and smaller side roads are not great for snow travel either. Often the snow is deep enough to cause problems, but not deep enough for things like snow socks. Or there's the transition from one extreme to the other: gritted with no snow but plenty of slush, compacted and iced over ice rink like surfaces, then the deep crunchy stuff.

On Friday we checked the school closures list and the Small Person's school was still open, so off she went on the bus. Then we had a phone call to let us know the school would be closing at 2.30pm because the weather was getting worse. At that point there would be no school bus because the other schools involved were not in agreement on a closure time. Excellent. Most of the children at the Small Person's school are within walking distance, or at the very least, live in the town where the school is. We are further out in our little village, definitely not walkable and I don't drive. Mr Bogert was miles away at work in Birmingham. The next development was that school was now closing at 12pm and could we all collect our children soon. Even better. I had no choice but call Mr Bogert and get him to head home early to collect her. Finally the other school all agreed to close and the bus was sent to collect them. Too late for Mr Bogert to stay at work. It actually ended up taking Mr Bogert 2.5hours to get home from Birmingham, so it's probably just as well. It took the school bus from 12.30 to about 3.45ish to get from Coventry, to the schools in Kenilworth and then back out to the villages. That part of Friday and snow was not fun.

BUT once we were all home safe and changed into lots warm layers and wellies and waterproofs, we had the best time ever! And that fun carried on right through the 3 days. It is a snow day today too, but Mr Bogert is hiding away upstairs working from home, the Small Person has a list of homework that has been emailed from school and I'm trying to catch up on housework and do some uni work, so were all indoors. But still, love that snow!

I thought I'd just share some of our snowy photographs while it's all still fresh and wintery outside.

Goodbye 2012!

2012 has been a fantastic year. During 2012 I have turned 30, completed my second year of my degree and started my third and final year, been to several friends weddings, even being a bridesmaid at one, and we've congratulated friends who have got engaged and will be marrying in 2013.

We've been to first birthday parties, welcomed new babies and heard the good news of more expected in 2013.

My Small Person lost her first baby tooth, won 3 art competitions and placed in the children's homecraft section of the Kenilworth show, and she performed her heart out in her dance show in July and again for Playbox Theatre in August.

My Smaller Person has made new friends, gained huge amounts of confidence and is a huge Scooby Doo fan. His vocabulary is growing fast every day. Mr Bogert has worked hard at his day job and also at his photography and he has plenty more trips and photoshoots set for 2013 including a couple of personal photography projects he has been planning. In 2012 we became the proud owners of the Spaceship (our S-Max car) and only had time to fit in one holiday (to Woolacombe) but we crammed it full of fun days.

We've been involved in or attended plenty of village events such as the Open Gardens, Party in the Park and Bonfire Night. Mr Bogert and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary and we planned and executed (rather well I thought) a Muppet Rainbow 2nd Birthday Party for the Smaller Person, and a Princess 7th Birthday Party for the Small Person.

2013 promises to see a big change for us around the end of June. My degree will finally be complete and I will have the entire summer study free to get on top of housework and, most importantly, spend plenty of time with the family without deadlines hanging over my head or bookish distractions calling me away. I can't wait. I haven't had study free time since before my sweet little guy was born. Can you believe that!?

Wishing you all the very best in 2013, and hopefully an enjoyable evening seeing in the New Year. See you on the other side!

Lots of Love, The Wishes xxx

Christmas Gift Creations

I did actually get around to a little making for a few gifts this year, but not as many as I originally planned :(

For the two new babies I made personalised Christmas stockings in the same style as the ones I made last year for the baby bunch. Instead of crushed velvet, I used calico. Each one had a Gingerbread lady stuffed toy inside (purchased from Wilkinsons).

For the baby bunch, I made personalised drawstring bags again in calico. They are fully lined with the initial of each child sewn on with blanket stitch, and then their first names are embroidered onto the initial with a simple backstitch. Each drawstring bag had a mini chocolate selection box, a set of bath crayons, a candy cane and a push and go aeroplane.

For my Mum I made a twisted crochet cowl, very similar to the one I made for my Christmas OU swap partner. It has an eyelet edge again, and is made up of mostly mock moss stitch. It was crocheted in the round, so the twist was put in at the start when I joined the foundation chain.

I had intended to make my sister-in-law a Betty Boop bag, and even started it, but ran out of time. I will finish it though and then keep it for her birthday.

I also intended to make my sister a crochet top. I only got about as far as buying the yarn :/

Mr Bogert got his crafty on and made pickled onions. We have several jars now to keep us going. For his Secret Santa gift, he gave a jar of the pickles and also made a jar of curry wurst sauce (just add sausages!) and baked a loaf of bread to go with it. I know it's supposed to be secret, but I don't think the people doing the secret Santa come on here (and the recipient knows it was Mr Bogert anyway).

I also received a lovely homemade gift from my OU crafter friend as part of the swap. Just look at this fantastic apron made with lovely matryoshka fabric. I love it!

I showed off my OU swap creations in a previous post.

The Smaller Person also had a very thoughtful homemade gift from one of the baby bunch, made by his Mummy. She made lovely personalised tote bags (great minds ;D) which had a couple of books and a soft toy inside. We really do appreciate all things homemade in this house!